#LWL

Everybody always tells you to find what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Technically, that's not correct, otherwise I'd be on a beach letting my mind rot. What they mean is that the work you put in will never feel boring or unwanted like the work you put in high school.

And I think that's a bad comparison. I think you should work. I think you should want to work. And perhaps, someday, you'll realize what you truly want out of life and you'll make it happen (through work) and you'll get to the end and be satisfied. And that's when it's not "work" because you want to continue the struggle.

Some people are truly lucky in that that purpose shows up early. I thought I was really lucky to figure out nursing was my calling before the end of high school (although it kinda shot me in the foot). And I thought I was really lucky to fall into my current position (although I went through so many rejections I almost didn't think I would end up working as a nurse).

But it has taken me 3 grueling years to figure out that I am not truly happy. There are several psychological reasons for this, too many to count, but when I cut out alcohol I was able to clearly identify that the unhappiness I felt could be controlled.

So I did. I became obsessed with the gym and my diet and school. I live, eat, breath education. Right or wrong, it got me where I am today.

Confused.

I have a trainer so I don't think about what I train. I had a diet program so I didn't think too hard about what I ate. I'm in school so I didn't think about what's next.

And the kicker is that everyone I met says I need more balance that the "what's next" can wait.

I hate waiting.

I hate wasting time.

So I become anxious about things that cannot change, even months from now, and circle around them like it's my job. It sure feels like work.

So I'm going to make my plan of attack public.

I have to read an article every day pertaining to nutrition or training.
I have to maintain my macros within the specs of carb cycling.
I have to save $200 a paycheck - translates to not buying frivolous things daily.
I have to journal until emotions arise.

 Goals:
Compete at 15% body fat in May 2017
Obtain educator position after May 2017
Decide and apply for PhD program by December 2017


#LeadWithLove

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