Relax Babe

Somebody asked how I track macros and I thought I would share my journey. Obviously, things have changed and it's easier today than when I started. That's normal. Keep pushing. Keep learning. This is for you and your happiness. Never forget. :)  Now I track as I go.  But I used to just sit w MyFitnessPal and put in what I thought and look at the macros until they lined up how I wanted. So I would put in 100 g of rice, and my daily carbs would be too high if I also wanted a quest bar. So I would decrease until I could fit the quest bar in. Then I would meal prep and weigh out that many grams of rice.  And I would be so disciplined. I would figure out when I could eat and when I would eat what and set a timer if i thought I would want to eat too early or forget bc I was working - I would say eggs in the morning around 7, lunch hopefully at 11 w salmon and rice, then I’ll be going home (1500ish) so I need a bar so I’ll eat the quest bar, I want the max carbs after working ou

My trainer told me he knew CPR and I shouldn't worry. Push. I cringed, I need to get to work today! There are other things at stake, I thought. Push. Forget work, he said. Leave it all out on the floor, right now, in this moment. Ironically I had a message waiting from the night before. I had gone to yoga and stayed up til 2200 even though I knew my alarm clock would go off at 0435 in time to run a mile before the plyo with him before 4 hours of OT at work. I did this to myself. I ask for no pity party (although I'll through one the minute you offer). I want this. I want to be fit. I want to be functional. I want to be muscular. I want to embody the perfect human being as I see her. So I allow myself to push. I push and pull and cry and swear and tear. In doing so, I never fail. Ironically I waited until after I trained to read the message. Short and simple: I want to look like you. It's humbling. I don't even want to look like me. I feel much be