Push
My trainer told me he knew CPR and I shouldn't worry.
Push.
I cringed, I need to get to work today! There are other things at stake, I thought.
Push.
Forget work, he said.
Leave it all out on the floor, right now, in this moment.
Ironically I had a message waiting from the night before. I had gone to yoga and stayed up til 2200 even though I knew my alarm clock would go off at 0435 in time to run a mile before the plyo with him before 4 hours of OT at work.
I did this to myself. I ask for no pity party (although I'll through one the minute you offer).
I want this. I want to be fit. I want to be functional. I want to be muscular. I want to embody the perfect human being as I see her.
So I allow myself to push. I push and pull and cry and swear and tear.
In doing so, I never fail.
Ironically I waited until after I trained to read the message. Short and simple: I want to look like you.
It's humbling. I don't even want to look like me. I feel much better now after a month of clean eating (thank you holidays and vacations and school stress and OT and no sleep).
But it hit me in the gut. I don't push just for me. I push for you.
I push myself to limits to let you know that you can too.
We all can.
What are you priorities?
They're always changing, and like our growth, both physical and mental, it is a requirement to prove that we are alive.
What are your priorities this second?
Take a second and think. Write them down. Pros and cons. What can you do, what can you not change?
What is the goal and how soon do you want to achieve that goal?
Think. There's no crime for self-love to be self-reflection. It's a requirement.
My personal take on things:
I have to have a physical goal that is monetary or disappointment-based. That's who I am. I will achieve because I put down money or because someone else will be upset if I fail. There is a deadline associated with this, and steps you may or may not have done before to achieve this. Figure it out while you write a SMART goal.
What has worked in the past? What hasn't? I know if I eat 1600 calories a day, high protein, I drop weight. I'm active enough as long as I get enough sleep to push myself in the gym. No more energy drinks, the carbonation bloats me and I don't see results and I feel terrible. No more talking to people about my weight, they say I look great and I want a cookie. Only those who understand or are willing to keep me accountable will know.
Who are you hanging around? Is it possible to get them active as well? Tell them you'll be back in a few months? Put down the stress for more self-love that doesn't involve food? Meet with people outside as opposed to a restaurant?
Plan out your treats and stick to them. You deserve those freedoms and those experiences. If there's a wedding, eat cake. But don't pig out the day before or after just because you're already blowing it at the wedding. That cake is special and meaningful, that fried food isn't. It just isn't. Remember that.
You will be more upset breaking the promise to yourself than if you mess up once and forget.
I do not care about the scale. I care about pictures and clothes. My clothes hurt they're so tight, I know I've done wrong. I know that I'm "skinny" and I look "fine" but myself and my clothes say differently.
I know who I could be and I aim to be her.
I know what I want to look like, and I can keep going until I get there.
There is nothing stopping me but myself, my fears, and my doubts. What's stopping you?
And are you going to let it continue?
Push.
I cringed, I need to get to work today! There are other things at stake, I thought.
Push.
Forget work, he said.
Leave it all out on the floor, right now, in this moment.
Ironically I had a message waiting from the night before. I had gone to yoga and stayed up til 2200 even though I knew my alarm clock would go off at 0435 in time to run a mile before the plyo with him before 4 hours of OT at work.
I did this to myself. I ask for no pity party (although I'll through one the minute you offer).
I want this. I want to be fit. I want to be functional. I want to be muscular. I want to embody the perfect human being as I see her.
So I allow myself to push. I push and pull and cry and swear and tear.
In doing so, I never fail.
Ironically I waited until after I trained to read the message. Short and simple: I want to look like you.
It's humbling. I don't even want to look like me. I feel much better now after a month of clean eating (thank you holidays and vacations and school stress and OT and no sleep).
But it hit me in the gut. I don't push just for me. I push for you.
I push myself to limits to let you know that you can too.
We all can.
What are you priorities?
They're always changing, and like our growth, both physical and mental, it is a requirement to prove that we are alive.
What are your priorities this second?
Take a second and think. Write them down. Pros and cons. What can you do, what can you not change?
What is the goal and how soon do you want to achieve that goal?
Think. There's no crime for self-love to be self-reflection. It's a requirement.
My personal take on things:
I have to have a physical goal that is monetary or disappointment-based. That's who I am. I will achieve because I put down money or because someone else will be upset if I fail. There is a deadline associated with this, and steps you may or may not have done before to achieve this. Figure it out while you write a SMART goal.
What has worked in the past? What hasn't? I know if I eat 1600 calories a day, high protein, I drop weight. I'm active enough as long as I get enough sleep to push myself in the gym. No more energy drinks, the carbonation bloats me and I don't see results and I feel terrible. No more talking to people about my weight, they say I look great and I want a cookie. Only those who understand or are willing to keep me accountable will know.
Who are you hanging around? Is it possible to get them active as well? Tell them you'll be back in a few months? Put down the stress for more self-love that doesn't involve food? Meet with people outside as opposed to a restaurant?
Plan out your treats and stick to them. You deserve those freedoms and those experiences. If there's a wedding, eat cake. But don't pig out the day before or after just because you're already blowing it at the wedding. That cake is special and meaningful, that fried food isn't. It just isn't. Remember that.
You will be more upset breaking the promise to yourself than if you mess up once and forget.
I do not care about the scale. I care about pictures and clothes. My clothes hurt they're so tight, I know I've done wrong. I know that I'm "skinny" and I look "fine" but myself and my clothes say differently.
I know who I could be and I aim to be her.
I know what I want to look like, and I can keep going until I get there.
There is nothing stopping me but myself, my fears, and my doubts. What's stopping you?
And are you going to let it continue?
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