Relax Babe, You've Got This
Relax Babe, You've Got This.
Not a very powerful statement by itself, potentially even disrupting to a feminist who views "babe" in a negative connotation that perhaps 80% of the general public understand it to mean, but it is my mantra.
Yes, I have a mantra.
Yes, I mean it when I say it.
And actually yes, yoga was the avenue for its development. And yes, actually, I went to yoga in the shallow attempt to deepen my squat. Did it work? Yes. Did it help me achieve more than I imagined? Yes.
Here's why.
I didn't have a mantra before yoga. It's silly, 5 (technically 6) words that I say while practicing mediation through breathing. "Relax babe" during inhalation, "you've got this" through exhalation. With slight pauses in between to feel the air in my lungs. To connect my mind with my body. To accept absolute control of everything that I was, am, and will be.
It is so empowering. It's so empowering I still go to yoga just for the moments of clarity during savasana that I have, unfortunately, not been able to develop in my day to day activities. I still go to yoga after 10 hour shifts, after working out with my trainer in the morning, after getting off planes... The few times I missed yoga this year were conflicts of events and one time, I simply had to meal prep (that kinda conflicted with Halloween, whoops).
I digress. I do that a lot. Welcome to my brain.
When I have the most clarity at the gym, which also equates to success in my performance in my training practice, I will say this to get through lunges or tough mobility exercises that cause me more mental strain. What, why do lunges cause you mental strain? Because I literally hate them. With a burning, fiery, utmost, unstoppable, and unavoidable flame.
So I have to use my mind to train my body to see end result - I will be on stage, winning first place, sword in hand, in a fitness competition.
These past few months of all these gurus have helped me place my face on the body. It has taken me 2 years of wanting to be in a body competition to realize that I needed to see the crowd from the winner's angle, not see my body on stage looking up.
Dang, that took a while.
I have to credit my therapist Linda at TWU, my career adviser Hamaria at TWU, Andy Frisella, Jenna and Chris Fail, James Hillegas, Ben Newman, and Tonya Rineer for helping me through a journey of self-discovering that has been a long time coming.
I miss drawing. Okay, make time. I miss journaling, okay, that's actually super useful, make time. I love it when my make up is on point and I receive compliments on my eye lashes, okay then the time it takes to put on the make up serves a purpose and is therefore WORTH IT.
Again, you and your feelings do not have to be validated by anyone and you are worth your feelings and the ability to make yourself feel good is actually always in YOUR CONTROL.
It has taken 26.5 years to believe that. Actually, that belief probably got destroyed when I was 13, so it's taken 2 years to actively decide to wake up, become self-aware, and create my destiny.
2 years to actively fight myself.
It was exhausting.
But I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is literally every single person that says they are inspired by me.
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to express those feelings of gratitude toward me. Because of you, I want to be better. Because of you, I want to inspire more people.
Because of you I found my voice.
In my voice, I have found my passion.
I want to create change. I am literally so sick that it took 2 years to fight myself over something that SHOULD NOT have been a problem in the first place.
I'm sorry that it looks like I'm yelling, I'm truly only yelling at myself for not being self-aware in the beginning. When I knew what was right and wrong. But not believing in myself, or my self-worth, I decided to fold and become part of the problem.
But I cannot do that anymore.
You know as well as I do that you are beautiful. Your breath inspires others to continue living. You were made for a purpose.
And even though I cannot give you a straight answer, I feel as though I must share my story so that perhaps in my struggle you will find your strengths.
We are all worthy of self-love. And those who accept us are worthy of our love. And those that do not, well, can either get with the program or be cut until you have enough strength to fight for their self-love.
Andy Frisella told me to create big dreams to the sun to land among the stars.
This year, I will:
Graduate with a Master's in Nursing Education
at the same time I will
Win a NPC show
at the same time I will
Write a New York Times best-selling book, short story, or children's book on self-love
at the same time I will
Be a guest on the Opera Show, Ellen Show, Daily Show etc. to talk about my book
at the same time I will
Be accepted into a Doctorate of Philosophy in Nursing Science Program
at the same time I will
Always place others' needs first.
And if that doesn't scare me, I don't know what will.
Not a very powerful statement by itself, potentially even disrupting to a feminist who views "babe" in a negative connotation that perhaps 80% of the general public understand it to mean, but it is my mantra.
Yes, I have a mantra.
Yes, I mean it when I say it.
And actually yes, yoga was the avenue for its development. And yes, actually, I went to yoga in the shallow attempt to deepen my squat. Did it work? Yes. Did it help me achieve more than I imagined? Yes.
Here's why.
I didn't have a mantra before yoga. It's silly, 5 (technically 6) words that I say while practicing mediation through breathing. "Relax babe" during inhalation, "you've got this" through exhalation. With slight pauses in between to feel the air in my lungs. To connect my mind with my body. To accept absolute control of everything that I was, am, and will be.
It is so empowering. It's so empowering I still go to yoga just for the moments of clarity during savasana that I have, unfortunately, not been able to develop in my day to day activities. I still go to yoga after 10 hour shifts, after working out with my trainer in the morning, after getting off planes... The few times I missed yoga this year were conflicts of events and one time, I simply had to meal prep (that kinda conflicted with Halloween, whoops).
I digress. I do that a lot. Welcome to my brain.
When I have the most clarity at the gym, which also equates to success in my performance in my training practice, I will say this to get through lunges or tough mobility exercises that cause me more mental strain. What, why do lunges cause you mental strain? Because I literally hate them. With a burning, fiery, utmost, unstoppable, and unavoidable flame.
So I have to use my mind to train my body to see end result - I will be on stage, winning first place, sword in hand, in a fitness competition.
These past few months of all these gurus have helped me place my face on the body. It has taken me 2 years of wanting to be in a body competition to realize that I needed to see the crowd from the winner's angle, not see my body on stage looking up.
Dang, that took a while.
I have to credit my therapist Linda at TWU, my career adviser Hamaria at TWU, Andy Frisella, Jenna and Chris Fail, James Hillegas, Ben Newman, and Tonya Rineer for helping me through a journey of self-discovering that has been a long time coming.
I miss drawing. Okay, make time. I miss journaling, okay, that's actually super useful, make time. I love it when my make up is on point and I receive compliments on my eye lashes, okay then the time it takes to put on the make up serves a purpose and is therefore WORTH IT.
Again, you and your feelings do not have to be validated by anyone and you are worth your feelings and the ability to make yourself feel good is actually always in YOUR CONTROL.
It has taken 26.5 years to believe that. Actually, that belief probably got destroyed when I was 13, so it's taken 2 years to actively decide to wake up, become self-aware, and create my destiny.
2 years to actively fight myself.
It was exhausting.
But I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is literally every single person that says they are inspired by me.
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to express those feelings of gratitude toward me. Because of you, I want to be better. Because of you, I want to inspire more people.
Because of you I found my voice.
In my voice, I have found my passion.
I want to create change. I am literally so sick that it took 2 years to fight myself over something that SHOULD NOT have been a problem in the first place.
I'm sorry that it looks like I'm yelling, I'm truly only yelling at myself for not being self-aware in the beginning. When I knew what was right and wrong. But not believing in myself, or my self-worth, I decided to fold and become part of the problem.
But I cannot do that anymore.
You know as well as I do that you are beautiful. Your breath inspires others to continue living. You were made for a purpose.
And even though I cannot give you a straight answer, I feel as though I must share my story so that perhaps in my struggle you will find your strengths.
We are all worthy of self-love. And those who accept us are worthy of our love. And those that do not, well, can either get with the program or be cut until you have enough strength to fight for their self-love.
Andy Frisella told me to create big dreams to the sun to land among the stars.
This year, I will:
Graduate with a Master's in Nursing Education
at the same time I will
Win a NPC show
at the same time I will
Write a New York Times best-selling book, short story, or children's book on self-love
at the same time I will
Be a guest on the Opera Show, Ellen Show, Daily Show etc. to talk about my book
at the same time I will
Be accepted into a Doctorate of Philosophy in Nursing Science Program
at the same time I will
Always place others' needs first.
And if that doesn't scare me, I don't know what will.
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