Conflict Resolution: Part 7

Conflict Resolution

One thing about being the owner of the room is that you are the owner of all the problems. It’s the idea that you are the CEO of the room – all the positives are your team’s, all the negatives fall back on you.

Whether or not you accept, I’d like to see the counter-argument. When I accepted the CEO-mentality, my life changed. Once I realized that that same mentality wasn’t just my weight, my happiness, or my education, but also my job, that’s when it became much more serious – you must be present in every moment, you must act like every relationship is going to make or break your business, you must treat every patient like they are the only, most important, favorite customer.

We’re in the business, whether we like it or not. As the nurse, you are the keeper of the customer’s faith and trust in the entire hospital. As the OR nurse, you represent the entire hospital and provide one of the first experiences of confidence. How calm are you when you’re doing your interview? How many side eyes do you make to anesthesia? When you’re in the room, how confident is your flow? Do the surgeons ask a bunch of questions when they come in? Do you look nervous? Are you able to stand with your patient as they go to sleep to provide that comfort? Decrease their anxiety by holding the space during intubation?

You should try your hardest to be the CEO of the room and their experience.

So now we’re in the business of conflict resolution. There will always be conflict. Rest easy, it will come. Do your best to observe and recognize almost-conflicts to decrease their severity, but they will happen. And the conflicts are generally interpersonal, you must be capable of communication, debating, and collaborating. What’s more important, that you’re right or that the patient has the best care?

That was a rhetorical question. If you’re in this business to be right, you’re already so wrong. I’m not even sure how you made it out of nursing school.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is shifting blame or not apologizing first. When a surgeon or anesthesia provider or client or coworker or manager is mad – stop everything you’re doing (short of providing patient care, make sure your patient is safe), look them in the eyes, and listen. What are they mad about? Usually it’s not what’s on the surface, it’s a little deeper. What are they taking as a personal attack? Is it the situation, the communication, or the fear of the unknown?

How can you help the situation, the communication, or the unknown?

You listen, apologize, offer a solution. This requires a lot, and a lot of the time, it comes with practice. The Millennials don’t like to hear that, but it’s true. Even last year I was not as good at communicating or hearing the undertone of what the attack was or critically thinking on the spot to make a resolution. I know I’ll be 10 times better next year. It comes down to owning up to what you’ve done to exacerbate the problem and offering yourself to the resolution completion.

One example is when I was managing five rooms. I was told to change the order of the cases, but I did not stop the transport of the next patient. During turn over, there was a question of Factor VIII, and I took it personally, I had to find that Factor VIII and get the patient in the room.

It took a while, there was a lot of confusion but finally 45 minutes later the Factor VIII was in the room and my nurse was bringing the patient down from PCU. I rounded on them 10 minutes later, upset that they were still working on the arterial line because I knew that this had delayed the surgeons even longer. That’s when the faculty surgeon stopped by the room and you could see the desperate, jaded look in his eyes.

The conversation ended up being that the resident surgeons knew he was trying to get out of town and switched the order of the cases to try to speed up the two cases. This backfired on the nurse who didn’t realize that the Factor VIII would get lost or that the other patient would get to day surgery before she could roll back with that PCU patient.

The faculty surgeon expressed upset for the room not listening to him and the nurses not being held accountable for not listening. True and false. No matter how many times a nurse has been burned by listening the residents, there is always context and confusion in the moment. I’ve been that nurse before.

Standing, apologizing, and listening to him discuss his upset was literally the only thing I could do. So it’s what I did. Empathic listening. It’s powerful. Everyone wants to be acknowledged and validated. His feelings did matter, although I couldn’t fix the issue that was the issue, I could offer my soul through empathetic listening.

The end result was less than ideal, but at least there was no cursing and no physical violence. I’m not sure what he was looking for or expecting, but I hope that he knew we were all on his side.

Listen, apologize, offer a solution. You’re the CEO and this is your fault. But you can fix it.