The Calm Down


The come down, the calm up, the meditation zone.

Today was my first real day off. I started at 0430, jumping on the scale. I’ve got a new scale now, that aligns with my goal of being physically fit. It tracks my body fat percentage, not just my weight.

This may seem silly, and truth be told, I couldn’t care less about the number. But the number is objective and steadfast. Whatever I feel about my physical appearance, the scale will give me a number to associate with.

I need that. It’s been almost 2 years since I had someone tracking me consistently. I held onto the 10 pounds I gained on vacation for a year, but when I started my PhD program self efficacy ran out the door. I needed to stay awake and burn daylight. I needed to work. I worked so hard.

I went backwards.

So now I have a scale and an account-a-buddy. She does much more than hold me accountable, but that’s what I really need her for. She tracks my weight and my macros and will make changes as the weeks go on. I’m excited. I’ve been changing and trusting the process and it’s showing in much more than physical appeal.

I’m calm again. I use yoga to meditate as much as I use it for physical exertion. I take a class twice a week just after cardio, the only way you’ll see me in the gym without weights. It feels weird and some times I think about skipping if I haven’t trained in a few days. But these days I need it most. Those days I’m scattered.

I need focus. Yoga gives me focus. It has given me so much focus in the past few months that I’m training to become an instructor. Everyone needs to meditate on themselves, on life, on their needs. Yoga is beautiful, regardless of whether or not you believe in the hype. Yoga makes you calm down which makes your focused energy work so much stronger.

So then I bounce to my school work, bounce to my manuscript for work, bounce to my volunteerism for AORN, bounce to yoga training, bounce to weight training, bounce to family needs, bounce to actual work.

It’s a lot to balance. But I believe the end result will be worth it. That’s all we have to do right? Believe that all this work will be worth it.

And worth what? Trust yourself to lead you towards your goals, but through meditation, they’ll present themselves much faster and the discontent with speed and pulled directives will go away. I meditate to follow my dreams, because my focus isn’t always steadfast on one dream.

I want what I want, and I want it now. But in the meantime, I’ve got to make the changes to become who I am supposed to be. So I’ll keep meditating on me, trying to give inspiration and motivation where it’s needed.

What can I help you with today?

Meditate and tell me where your strengths are, what you weaknesses are holding you back from, and how you can help yourself become the best version of you, however you see yourself being best.

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