Relax Babe

Something I really love about the gym is that I am never bored. I don't do the same activities because my trainer focuses on function and performance, not just strength or aesthetics. When I train on my off days, I use the same theory of your body's ability to adapt to make sure I'm doing something completely different every day. Even if it's just the number of reps or the circuit of the machines, ever little bit helps. When I get to the gym, I have my pre work out and foam roll. I'll spend 10ish minutes warming up but it depends on how much time I have and my goals for the session as to what I do. I'll either run a mile, do a few rounds of sprints, do a few rounds of kick boxing dynamic stretches, or do a warm up set at light weight/high reps if I don't have a lot of time. HIIT: High Intensity Interval Training 30 seconds on - push as hard as you can 1 minute off - get heart rate back down, somewhere around 110-140 5-10 rounds Whatever you do, HI...

Are my Sundays. I work in the operating room as a nurse on the weekends, so Thursdays are the last night where I can veg a little and have to make sure that the next 4 days are set up to kick ass. Today was my first real day "off" in a long time. I didn't get enough sleep, thanks anxiety for kicking into high gear at 0300 and not settling until 0500, but I jumped out of bed at 0609. Tuesdays and Thursdays I work out with a personal trainer I have had for years. He just makes me happy. Not all the time, not always, some days I curse him more than I smile. But the challenges he has put me through and his ability to believe in me when I did not think I could do a simple box jump, much less the training we do now, I could not live without that elation. This post is two-fold. Remember to find time to plan and prepare when you know that upcoming days will be difficult. Remember to thank the ones who support you. Remember you're worthy. -MAA

I am forever caught in the balance between work and play, what I consider to be play, and nutrition. Yes, I love to go to concerts and jam out (I've been known to come back with whiplash and silently curse whichever band all day at work) but more importantly, I get a serious rise from conferences. Weird, yes, maybe. But if what you do doesn't excite you, maybe you're in the wrong biz. Anyways. When I go to concerts, I typically don't care about cheating for one meal before or after and being good the rest of the week, maybe twice a month (when I was lucky all summer it was 2-3 times a week so I had to retrain my mind to recognize that some concerts weren't cheat meal worthy... That's a whole 'nother story). But when I attend conferences, typically sleep deprived from work the day before and driving to whichever city (because most aren't in my town), I'm trying stay awake with food thrown at me left and right. Awful influences and the habit ...

Everyone fears something. Whether it be a tangible, physical threat, or a mental, abstract black hole, everyone fears something. For instance, I am terrified of heights. Not getting there, oh no, I'll climb up like a monkey, chancing the thrill. But looking down, oh hell, what did I get myself into again? Actually, writing this aligns a lot with the rest of my life, but I'll get back to that. I was so afraid of becoming different. I had lived in my skin so long that the mental threat of seeing myself differently was too much to bare. I was less afraid of dying alone, having a heart attack, or never learning to ski than I was afraid of building a relationship with my true self. What? How ridiculous. Until I finally made the connection. I'm not sure at what point I became desperate for help. Maybe it was one too many nights alone or one too many nights with a stranger. Maybe it was one too many cramps from eating too much or one too many headaches from starvat...

Last night I spent 3 and a half hours in a gym with 5 people practicing for an Olympic weight lifting competition in 8 days. It was challenging because I knew that I needed to learn, but I needed to be humble enough to accept that I had enough knowledge to be dangerous. I started weight lifting in the gym to get healthy, to look like Ronda Rousey, to finally feel good in my own body. I never felt good in my own body, since I can remember realizing I was overweight. This happened at a very young age and was only perpetuated by my parents and family. Interestingly enough, I never felt social pressure to conform to a specific body type. Some I think was cultural, in the South it is more important to eat and be a family at dinner time. Some might have been because I got good grades, I did not need to excel in a sport. I know a lot of my personal block was that I was still loved, and I was accepted regardless of how much I weighed. For a while, I was very scared of whether or no...

What if I decided to stop thinking and just do? I use this like a journal and put my innermost thoughts and it destroys the process of doing and I am simply at a loss. I have everything I need. I just need to do.

Today was a really stressful day on all accounts, mostly because I hate speed limits and if I don't see children my poor little squirrel brain turns a corner and forgets there's a school on every block in the urban city I live in. Regardless, don't speed or pay the price. I'll pay the price. I had a great lift day, axillary work around deads. Cardio is the biggest fight ever, but I think that with my DXA/REE test in February, I'll continue a mini-cut/carb cycling and jump into whatever they suggest when it shows my true resting metabolism. I couldn't even guess right now. I've had anything from 2400-1400. Obviously I want more. Obviously I still eat more. Anyways. I got rejected by a PhD program again (actually one of those, blessing in disguise I didn't want the decision anyway), and gained a valuable friend whom I hope actually does edit my entry essay. It's probably shit. I hope she takes me seriously afterwards. Then I ran to school and p...