Ask them for their hope.


This year, my grandfather Anderson was hospitalized for the flu, sent to rehab for recovery, fell and had a short femur rod placed, and ultimately placed in a memory-care facility. He lives in a studio apartment with a tiny bathroom. He lives in his wheelchair and has to be reminded constantly not to stand without assistance. His dementia is so far that he forgets that one command, and he’s already had a small fall again.

This year, I’m much more family-focused and aware of the toll my career aspirations take on my family. Every time I come home to my parents, either to see my father (that career-focus keeps him busy) or get my hair done, I make it a point to stop by my grandfather’s room, wherever he may be this time.

The last time I went to see him, he asked about school. It’s not uncommon for those who know me to ask about school instead of work. That’s where my passion is, and I can very rarely explain what I do in the operating room without violating some HIPPA law. They know not to ask.

But this time when he asked about school, I flipped the conversation to him. I don’t have much time to figure out his life, and realized that he did work for a hospital, but didn’t know anything about his career. What followed was a sincere belief that the universe created me for a reason, gave me this family for a reason, and asked me to work hard for a reason.

My grandfather got out of the war and read a classified ad in the newspaper. The CAO of the Iowa Lutheran Hospital wanted the woods behind the hospital cleared of debris. He walked into the office and explained his plan. For a year and a half with three other men, my grandfather cleared the backwoods of the hospital.

When the CAO was diagnosed with cancer, the hospital board elected my grandfather the new CEO as he had become the Assistant CAO. The imposter syndrome was real, but the board was convinced and my grandfather agreed.

For over 18 years my grandfather changed the way the hospital ran. With the help of many others, he allowed the nurses to change their scheduling policies. I think that was his most proud achievement.

I was made for this. Each day I battle imposter syndrome, faking the mannerisms of whom I want to be until I have become just that. I’m fighting for my right to lead nurses to self-care empowerment through my experience and struggles. I hope that I can make an impact on the world as large as the one that he made on me. It seems my duty and responsibility to make sure that his legend lives on, whether through my work or my words.

It actually hurts me that it took so long to know that my lineage has lead me this way long before I was born. And I didn’t know. I didn’t know because I didn’t ask.

So the point today – Ask your elders for their experiences. Ask them for their advice. Ask them for their hope.

And you’ll receive it ten fold.

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