Easy

When I started training with the third personal trainer in my life, it was the first time someone said he saw the passion in me and believed that I could look like Ronda Rousey. My first trainer never built the trust that I could, and perhaps it was because she did not know me before I started training. My second trainer never pushed me, and perhaps it was because I did not have the correct goal.

When I started training and literally threw away any and all excuses, I was 175 pounds. I ate next to nothing, but made up for the calories in alcohol. I knew exactly what I wanted to achieve and I had watched this trainer as much as he said he watched me. When we entered into that contract, there were 3 rules: come with intensity, listen to his nutritionist, no alcohol for 3 months. 

 To be honest, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do (besides the work outs that followed, but short-term physical pain has always been easier to deal with than long-term, solo, mental struggles). I will put in 100% and bleed just to not disappoint trainers. I will eat whatever you say and grin because I have to, to stay sane. I will even walk past the desserts and wait patiently for my birthday to eat the cake (not all the time, some days my grit is better than others). 

But alcohol became my crutch through nursing school, and the thought of even one day without it was difficult at 24 years old. I convinced myself not to drink during the week, but the definition of “during the week” had morphed so many times that a social gathering of any kind was a requirement.

But he said he believed in me. He said he could get me there. He didn’t lie about the hard work, sacrifice, and time that it would take. I told him 3 months knowing that it would take years. And I never looked back.

It’s been almost 3 full years now, with every craving leaving by the end of year 1. I don’t crave alcohol. Sometimes I crave the high and the escapism, but I have developed a mental block and a mental playground in which I create the high for myself. If I want to feel a certain way, I feel it. I don’t need anything to create that environment for me. 

It took a while to feel empowered to be able to give my body and mind exactly what it needs and not what society tries to tell me I want. You don’t deserve to want for anything. You have human needs, but it is up to you to decide what you’re willing to sacrifice for what you want. Everything is a balance, and your body is no different. Do you want to be fit, do you want to have credentials, do you want a promotion? What are you willing to sacrifice? Everyone has the same amount of hours in the day. Some people are more talented and will get there quicker. Some people would even say to give up on your weaknesses and focus solely on your strengths.  

I actually play into that idealism. I am very good at school, so I keep achieving. I am very good at controlling my mind, so I find ways to create the best environment for my brain to be controlled.

For example, if I want to not eat for 4 hours – I’ll go do something for 4 hours. Even if it’s sleeping. I don’t have the will power to not eat for 4 hours. I just don’t. I’ve tried and some days are better and I can sit at home or create a game plan like, you can’t eat until you finish x. But I’m not strong enough and when I’m bored enough/tired enough/stressed enough, I will eventually break. So I don’t even give myself the option to be around food to break. 

When I started dieting, he told me to eat every 4 hours. I put a timer on my phone when I finished one meal, and would not eat until the timer went off. This helped me in 2 ways – I didn’t have to stress about missing a meal and I created a habit of waiting. I used third person to talk myself into waiting, the same way I talk myself into jumping on that box when my legs are fried from an hour with my trainer. 

You have to find what works for you, and go forward with it 100%. 

What do you want to achieve? Pick one thing at a time. Humans are built for drastic change. Our bodies adapt, but you must give it time. Our minds adapt, it takes 21 days for a habit to form. Don’t waste the next 21 days building bad habits. Pick a habit to change, and change it. Create a challenge, you didn’t win the day unless you were able to achieve that one thing. Then keep doing it. Keep changing. Keep persisting. Prove it to yourself that you absolutely love yourself more than you love chocolate. 

How empowering is that? 

When it becomes a habit you no longer think about, change something else. And move forward. Continue. For the rest of your life. This is life. Becoming better, whatever better means to you. 

Be strong. Create the life you want because you deserve it.

Be strong. Create the habits to build the life you want because you’re worth it.

Be strong. Nothing worth having comes easy.