Relax Babe

Today was a classic example of how your emotions can help or hurt relationships. I was stuck in my phone walking down the hallway at work. I had just changed into my scrubs, went to the bathroom, and I was heading to the break room to sit and wait to clock in and start the day. I happened to look up and saw the janitor twisting her shoulders. You know the look, eyes squeeze shut, hands opened but strained, maybe even an audible sigh. Some paths: least resistance, look down and pretend to ignore. We had already made contact, so perhaps I sigh and role my eyes too, the common bond of a sore body enough to make a small connection. Maybe even a sorry or some other haphazard phrase to build the strength of the understanding and empathy. But I didn’t. For whatever reason, I felt like a) she needed more b) she wouldn’t mind if I touched her c) I was empowered to provide for her in this way.  When I was next to her in the hallway, I put down my phone and reached for her. Her eyes were s...

You deserve more than that plate could ever give you. I bet you do not subconsciously think about why you feel like you deserve food. Many of us have been raised with the idea of food being much more than fuel to continue to work and live and breathe. Many of us were raised with dinner being the center-point of the day, when you were reconnected with family or as a much-needed relaxation from the hectic day. In my experience, it didn't help that my mother made dinner an obligation and my father actually being present (not at work or in front of the TV) that made dinner my favorite time of day. No wonder I developed a sincere and honest craving for a home cooked meal, because it meant love, not just food. That continued into college and it was only when I lived alone that yes, food remained a way to connect with others. But no, dinner was no longer a daily reminder that I am not alone in this world. Food may give you a little comfort, a flash back of a good memory. You ...

    When I ask you to describe a surgeon, what personality traits come up? Cocky, arrogant, abrasive? We’ve heard of those stories where the surgeon lost his cool, threw something, or made someone cry. Certainly, working with surgeons is not for the faint of heart. I would say that being a nurse is certainly not for the faint of heart. Calling a surgeon at 3 in the morning must take a lot of courage, if not sheer determination for patient advocacy when your patient is crying out from pain.     Perioperative nursing is different. In this case, you are the only one keeping the surgeon from operating. For better or for worse, your relationship with each one (level of difficulty increasing when your university hospital has upwards of 8 surgeons in charge of one procedure with varying degrees of superiority), creates the mood of the room.     We already discussed how the mood of the room can change, starting with the patient’s mood. And we will di...

One of the main reasons I became a nurse was to help people. I absolutely, 100% feed off the feeling of being needed. Not many people feel this way, or maybe their feeling of being needed is expressed in a different form rather. I want to feel helpful. I want to feel useful. I want to feel like if I wasn’t here, your life would be worse-off.     Pretty complex concept. I rarely do anything that doesn’t have some aspect of being helpful. I love nursing, teaching, volunteering, mentoring. I realized pretty early on that the best way for me to help is to be empathetic and understand exactly what a person needs in that exact moment in time, accounting for their history, expectations, and fears.     For that reason, my external emotional intelligence is pretty strong. I’ve been working on improving my internal emotional intelligence, only recently learning that I have other needs besides being helpful that dictate my ability to be helpful. What a concept. I need...

My worst enemy. I feel sluggish when I have too many hours a night. I feel disconnected when I have too little. I can't concentrate at work, I feel worn down at the gym, I can't make myself do the school work. When people ask me how I do what I do, it's mostly because I'm able to control my hours and spend time only doing what I want to do. If it's school or meal prep or the gym or work, the hours are there and scheduled and maintained. Scheduled. Maintained. I'm going to have to work harder to make sleep scheduled and maintained. That means I might have to slow down on the concerts I go to. Spend less time on snap chat so that I can have that hour to work on that essay. It means I have to do, be on, be present, every minute that I'm awake. It's going to happen because it means so much to me. What means so much to you that you're willing to give up maybe 30 minutes of "down" time a day?

It seems that these days, all current nurses are worried about the future of nursing. The researchers are worried about our relevancy. The educators are worried about clinical placement. The elders are either looking forward to retirement or stressing about leaving too soon. The mid-group is looking around for support. The youth don't even know where to look. And our students are lost, scared, and wondering why they got themselves into this mess? It's hard to practice what you preach when doctors are not the only person you must satisfy. Most often, nurses are working for the patient, the family, the charge nurse, management, and higher ups, while still focusing on minute details that could mean life or death. So how then, can nurses really focus on their own lives and creating a work environment that will best support all involved? In my short experience, both in life and in the perioperative field, those who are present are the most successful, well-liked, a...